.

So... I'm sitting here at my computer, eating some pudding, and not entirely sure how I feel. I talked to the guy that I like for a bit. He found my last post, of course. I figured he would. My fault for giving him the blog address a couple days ago... Now, I'm starting to rethink this whole thing. Maybe I should stop now before I get in over my head and something happens. I don't know what, but something could happen for the worst... So. I really have to ask myself. Do I want to risk losing a friend just to teach myself a lesson? A lesson that I do not even know what it is. No. I don't think I do. But if I try to stop these feelings and it doesn't work, then what? Either way. I'm going to get hurt... And for once. In a strangely horrible way, I'm looking forward to it. Sad, huh? What is happening to me? Should I be this messed up that I am looking forward to getting hurt for once? I mean, honestly, what IS wrong with me?
And as always. I don't have the answers. I don't think I ever will... Maybe I should talk to my Grandpa. He always makes me feel better even if I don't remember our conversations. I think I might give it a try. Seeing as nothing else works... And seeing as I am confused as hell by all of this.
What is going on with me? Am I truly falling for this guy or am I just trying to attach myself to him because I feel like he is the only person that actually understands me? Or that I FEEL that actually understands me, I should say.
I don't know... I just don't know, anymore.



I'm just lost.
I don't know how to get found.


I am truly a GirlWithoutAClueAnymore