We talked about a lot of different things. Mostly about his problems. I was trying to help him sort things out... I'm not sure if I helped or not, but I hope I did. I don't want to think that what I was saying did nothing. I was really trying to help him.
I don't know if we could be in a relationship or not. I'm really unsure about that. Mostly because of everything that has happened from the time that we've met until now. I mean, seriously.
I really liked him, right? He had his girl (I'll name her Queen). He was so in love with Queen. And still is! It's all about her. Always has been, always will be... Yes, I admit that at first I was super jealous. Especially when he started to talk to Saturn (the girl at camp that he claimed to be in love with) more than me. So, what I did, was I became closer to Saturn. We became friends. so, it was easy to get close to him by hanging out with Saturn. Most times. Though, it hurt when he focused solely on Saturn and not me when the three of us were hanging out. I felt like a third wheel.
But that was alright. I had hogged him for the first couple of days before he met Saturn. He sat with me, sometimes. Talked with me during breaks. It was nice. He actually acknowledged me when we passed by. He joked with me, even around Saturn.
What I absolutely hated was when my face grew hot almost every time he was around and when he could figure out what I was thinking or anything about me. And yet, I love it at the same time. I can't hide much from him when we're together and I like that. I'm used to hiding things, but not with him. He sees right through me... Most times. Other times, he can't. Those are always the most fun because he can't figure it out and he freaks out. It's funny.
I simply enjoy my time with him. Any time that we talk. Even if it's on IM. I don't care. He still talks to me. That's all it's about. Him talking to me.
Dang. Now, after talking about all of that, I want to see him again. I want to physically see him and be in his presence. To hang out with him, again. Like we did at camp.
Somehow... That reminds me of the most wonderful bus ride I've had, yet... The one where we came back from camp. I wonder if I've posted about it because I can't remember.
Hm. Oh well. I'll just post about it.
That bus ride started out a little rough. He was talking to Saturn. The whole way to her town. (She was all he could ever talk about. Her and Queen). It was like an hour or two. He was sitting in the seat across from me and she was behind me. He was having a hard time talking to her because of how the seats were arranged. So, finally, he told me to move my legs off the seat. (I had offered to let him sit with me in the first place because I knew that he wanted to talk to Saturn and that it would be easier if he sat beside me, he declined). So, not really thinking much of it, I moved my legs and he slid into the seat beside me. I merely turned to stare out the window, trying to ignore their conversation and possibly get some sleep, but I have a hard time sleeping on buses with people around.
So, it finally came for her to get off. I had expected King to move back to his original seat, but he stayed. He asked me a question and we got into a discussion about Saturn and Queen and King's feelings. I told him what I thought.
Then, it sort of turned into playing around with each other. We joked and laughed. He said he wanted to make me laugh and I couldn't figure out why, but I enjoyed what I had gotten from him. He took a small nap. I was tempted to, but I knew the only way for me to possibly dream of getting some sleep would be to use his shoulder as a pillow. I knew he would not like that, so, I dared not ask. I just stared out the window, occasionally glancing at him.
At the next stop. He got off and went into the store to get something to eat. I stayed on the bus and grabbed his hoodie to cover my arms as I used my sweatshirt as a pillow on the seat. I took up both of my seats. When he came back, he sat in the seat behind his original one. I stared out the window as he ate. We talked a little bit. Then, I moved back to the window seat and next thing I know, he's sitting next to me again. I couldn't help but smile and be happy when he was so close. I was cold and had put his hoodie on, but he didn't seem to mind.
For the rest of the way, we just talked. We got into another discussion about feelings. He said that he was a huge tree and that Saturn was still just a tiny one. He even said that I was a big tree, too, but I don't really show it. I dont' know how to use this other part of me, but I am able to call upon it when I need too.
We just sat together and talked all the way back home. He said that he realized something, but he wouldn't tell me what it was. That if he didn't talk to me until next year at camp, that I could confront him, then. I gave him his hoodie back before we stopped.
My Mom and grandmother were there, but his parents hadn't shown up yet. I did not want to leave him to wait all by himself. so, I asked my mom if we could wait with him. So, I waited with him. Introduced him to my mom and grandmother. We talked a little bit more.
Then, when his mom arrived, he walked off without a word and left. Something he does that I hate with a passion, but don't say anything. It's just how he is, I suppose. I don't mind as much.
At least, when we're IMing, he actually tells me if he's getting off or something. That makes up for it.
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