Nah. No. I am not going to be waiting around. Not while he's in love with someone else. I am going to hope that he finds out what he wants and can be with the one that will make him happy. Yes, he's hurt me before, but I carry no ill-will towards him. I want him to be happy. He's still my friend, after all... And he's not a jerk. He's just unsure. A little lost and confused. He's nothing like those other guys. He is different.
I am a fool. A hopeless fool... I say this because I fell for a guy who is in love with someone else. I never meant to, but it happened.
But I'm not going to be waiting around just for him. No. I'm through with waiting. I know that nothing will ever happen. And I don't mind. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe nothing should happen between us.
And I am going to say this... I am completely and hopelessly lost. I don't know which way to go, anymore. And I don't really think that I ever knew. I'm not going to find my way, again, for a while. I know that much. I'm far too lost and I don't have any way to find myself. I don't know how.
Who knows. Maybe I will suddenly wake up and everything will be clear. I will know who I truly am.
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