You've Got A Friend In Me

I'm making progress, already! Hell yeah! I'm so proud of myself <3 
I was with my friend and my teammates at softball practice. Oh my god! It was great! I was more open and a bit louder and everything! I cheered and I did great! It was amazing. 
Then, on the ride home, her brother was with us. So, there were three of us... You know what?? I was perfectly comfortable! I jumped into conversations and made myself known! Without even thinking about it, too. I just did it! 
Gosh. It felt so good. 

We lost the game, but I don't really care! I had a blast. Even moreso that I usually do :3 
I hit the ball and made it to first! W00t! 
Then, as the other batters came up, I eventually made it home! It was so amazing! 
But then, the second time I was up to bat, I misjudged the pitches :'( But that's alright! It was fun, anyway! 
Damn. I'm just so happy! I'm going back to my old self... I think and I'm happy. I'm excited. I don't think it will be a bad thing.

 And now... I'm waiting >_< I have my YIM window up and I keep glancing up to see if I have a new message... You know who from. I'm waiting for Him to get on so that we can talk... Unfortunately, I have an internet curfew now *mutters colorful curses* So, I can't stay up all night talking to him, anymore... Sad day. 
I just want to talk to him... I feel lonely if I don't get to talk to him... 

So... He wasn't on last night, either. I'm thinking that either he's got in trouble (again) and can't use the computer or he's avoiding me or he's busy with his thoughts and his girl... I can't decide which one I like better.. None of them are very appealing, really... Except possibly the thinking about his feelings and all of that. That is a bit appealing. That means that he's trying to decide who he wants. (I already know that answer; it's HER)... My god. I feel like the other woman waiting to see if the man is going to dump his wife for me... Oh dear god. What am I doing??? No! I don't want that! I want a guy to leave his girl when he's not happy and things can't be fixed not because of another girl!

Oh god...