Second Best Never Wins

I've been thinking (no surprise) and I've decided something... I'm second best. I have always been second best and will always be second best. I mean, look at when I was younger. I was second best to Miss Perfect. Now, I'm second best to... Well. I'd rather not say because a certain someone might read this and then possibly either get upset or something and I don't want to deal with that because it's how I feel and I don't care if it's not true. It is TRUE! I am second best to Her. Everyone knows it. It's easy to see it... I mean. Seriously. He would rather be with Her, but if he can't then he'll come to me. How effed up is that? He don't care about me. He doesn't have feelings for me! He never will. That's what he said back at camp. Or am I remembering that wrong? I don't think that I am... So, yeah. I'm second best... Anyone know why? Because I'm stupid enough to do the things that the First Best people won't do... Like. Waiting for a GUY. An effing GUY! Girls should NOT wait on guys. Guys should be waiting on GIRLS! ....And yet. Here I am. waiting.. And it feels like a dagger through the heart because I know that I'm not going to win. I'm going to lose. Just like all the other times. I've lost before the race even started. Wonderful, isn't it? 

Here are some words to think about: 

I'm done chasing you all over
May as well be chasing after thunder

....

For a change now you can start chasing me

....

Don't you understand
Don't wanna be your backup plan
Now I won't be here to clean up when it hits the fan

....

It's time you started chasing me

I'm done acting like I won't be
Sitting here still wishing you wanted me
Don't say that I never told you
Take some advice from somebody who knows

This is another song by Skillet. It's called Should've When You Could've 

 I was just listening to it and it all hit me at once! It was like WAMBAMBOOM! 

It was interesting. Haha. But yeah. Think about these lyrics. 

I'm doing so much better at tearing down these shields. It's great. I'm actually doing things without being told and being a bit more open and honest and I feel good... I still ave a lot of work to do, though. 

My Mom took me to Wl-Mart a bit ago before she went to work. I got two new shirts, a pair of boots, earrings, bracelets, lip gloss, and eye shadow. All for the concert this weekend. I can't wait. I have to play around with the eye shadow, though. 

Yeah, I can be a girlie girl, sometimes... But I like wearing make-up and clothes that fit me. It's nice. I feel pretty. And I look so much better than without.