Life is not exactly good, but it's not exactly bad. Yesterday was rather bad. I was in a really bad mood. I was getting irritated by my mom for no reason and it sorta bugged me. She really was not doing anything to make me irritated. Just trying to help.
Now. Monday was not so bad. I had a softball game. Well, two. That was fun...
I came to a decision. I will never get married. I do not want to get married. Marriage is definitely not for me. And I think that serious commitments are not for me, either. I can't do it. I can't see myself doing it. Not after all of this. I'd be too scared that the guy would be cheating on me or would leave me or things would become boring or something equally bad. I just can't do it. All I want is to have fun. That's all. I'm only looking for fun. And if anyone comes to me that is not looking for a non-serious thing, then I'm going to push them away.
That's how I'm rewriting myself. I'm going to be open, but then closed at the same time. If that makes sense. It makes perfect sense to me.
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