Before I get into all of that... Fruit's mom added me as a friend of facebook. I have not met her or even spoke to her. So, that was a bit of a shock... Also, I sent fruit a message. Honestly. I don't care if he replies or not, actually. Crazy, huh? I guess I kinda just lost my crush for him. We rarely talk and every time we get together, it fails. So, I'm kind of done with all of that. If he responds, great. If not, oh well. His loss, right?
My Dad is right. Guys should be the ones chasing me. Not me chasing them. So, from now on, I am not going to go after any guys. They're going to have to come after me. I mean it.
So. Now. About these hoops...
I guess, the first would be my online guy friends. There's two. And I dated one for about a year or so. It was for a long time. The longest relationship I've had. It ended because I had gotten in trouble with my parents and they kept me from getting on. So, I had to break up with him. I had, and still have, strong feelings for him. We've remained good friends... But lately... I'm not sure. We've gotten closer and it's almost like we are together again. It's weird.
The other guy I've known for a couple years, now. About three, possibly. Not as long as the first... Anyway. We are very close and I help him with his problems and all of that jazz, but lately, I feel as if we're drifting apart. Which, we kind of are in a way. It's hard to explain.
Another hoop is King! Oh. my. God. I seriously do not know what to say about what I have just read and reread! It's shocking. (And I'm pretty sure he's going to read this sooner or later, but I don't really care. I have to write this down)
So. What happened was... I was checking my email after days of not checking it and wala, there are two emails from King. Sent on the same day, minutes apart. We haven't talked for a while and I figured it was just because he got grounded or something. So, I wasn't really that worried. But I was happy to see the emails. So, I read them... And one says that he missed me. Okay. Now. I kind hate to say this, but the first thought that came into my head at seeing that was "he must've sent that to the wrong person. that, or his sister had gotten into his email and sent it". Yes, horrible, I know, but how could I actually believe that he really meant that? It sounded so unlike him. Or at least, unlike the guy that I know him to be. I could not believe he actually said that. So, I replied "really?". The other email was just saying he was sorry we hadn't talked in a while and that he had a lot on his mind. You know. The usual.
So, I just checked my email a little while ago and bam! Replies to my replies! I swear, I smiled and my heart sped up a little. Insane, huh?
So, anyways. He replied yes to the whole missing me thing... And then the other email. My god! I still can't figure out how I feel about it... It seems him and his girlfriend are having some issues. (then again, who doesn't?) And he's saying that he wants to get to know me better... This coming from the guy that claimed to be in love with one of my friends at camp? Seriously!? He confuses the shiznit out of me! He really does.
But yeah. He claims he wants to get to know me better and that if anything does happen between him and his girl, I shouldn't get my hopes up too much because he doesn't think I could "displace" his feelings for his girl... Seriously? He actually thought that I was capable of displacing his feelings? Wtf? No one can displace feelings! When you love someone, you love them. There's no going back. You never stop loving them... Just, the love might get smaller and smaller, but it will always be there. No matter what. That's just how it goes.
So... Yeah. I have no idea how I feel at the moment... I don't want him and his girl to be having issues. I hope they can work it out. I wish them the best of luck.
But if they can't and King, for some impossible reason, gets to know me better and all of that... I will find out how I feel IF that happens. (Not counting on it, though)
Yes. I'm trying this new thing where I just go with whatever life wants to throw at me. I'm just gunna try to go with the flow. It'll be easier, right? I hope so...
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